Carnaval de Nerja 2010 – Polvo

Walking down Pintada heading towards Plaza de España, I was accosted by a group of “Ladies of the night”. Cue an impromptu lesson in the significance of the Spanish word “Polvo”.


Working outside the Church.

As far as I knew, “Polvo” means “Dust”. Nothing more nothing less. So when the young girl draped her arms around me and said “¿Quieres echar un polvo?, whilst tickling my face with a feather duster, I thought she wanted to dust me. Being quite flustered at the time, I managed to stammer my reply of “No Gracias. Soy limpio!”.

Oh how the others laughed. I spotted the “Quorum” lot from school and thought I´d better ask Mari-Carmen and Nathalie. It turns out “polvo” has quite a few meanings.

Apparently, it is quite a common thing for a professional lady to enquire if the gentleman would like to “echar un polvo”, meaning “have a shag”. So I suppose the reply of “Soy limpio” was apt, meaning “I’m clean” or “I’m innocent”. Not the use of Ser as opposed to estar!


Another Spanish Lesson from "las chicas"

In common with English, the phrase “estoy hecho polvo” can be used when you are really tired, to mean “I’m shagged”. Other uses of “Polvo” other than to refer to dusting are “depressed”, “to be ruined” and you can also “bite the dust” with “morder el polvo”. A new favourite of mine will be the expression “limpio de polvo y paja”. “he ganado diez millones de Euros limpios de polvo y paja” meaning “I´ve won a clear 10 million euros”. I wish!

Carnaval de Nerja 2010 – The Parade

Best of the Parade as it passed down Calle Pinatda.


Use the force Luke.


Walk like an Egyptian.


The Pussycat dolls.


Cute.


Cute too.


Yabadabadoo.


A bit painful.


Its a circus.


White hair isn't all that bad.

Viva Carnaval!

Carnaval de Nerja 2010 – Rain!

Carnaval time in Nerja. A time for the locals to dress up and party. Time for us to find our usual spot at La Piqueta and enjoy the tapas and beer as the parade crawls by towards the Plaza. However, things weren’t as normal this year.


La Piqeuta in the rain.

Firstly, the weather was awful. Heavy rain during the morning and persisting in the afternoon. The parade that was due to start at 5pm was in doubt. We headed to Plaza de España, the newly named square behind the Ayuntamiento. Very original! Pockets of people in fancy dress congregated outside the tent, not knowing what was going on. We had a quick look inside the party tent. The dour weather seemed to be reflected inside. The tent was smaller than normal and not as well dressed up as the previous year.

We met up with Ettore and Fabiana as news filtered through that the parade was to go ahead. We headed towards Antonio Million where the parade was due to start. Things at Antonio Million were hectic. Party-goers were arriving late, jockeying for position in the parade. We joined the crowds and tried to get a good vantage point from the pavement. The procession started and headed down Calle Diputacion. As we watched the colourful parade pass, we debated our next move. Would the Carnaval pass by La Piqueta? I was sure it would. The others were worried that the route would be cut short. However, the promise of tapas and beer proved too much and we headed back to the centre.


Carnaval!



We found a perfect spot at La Piqueta to watch the parade go by. The trouble was that the owners were convinced it wouldn’t come this far down Pintada this year. They hadn’t been told to remove the barrels from outside. Although when groups of tourists arrived asking about the parade they seemed to be more optimistic that it would! I was sent up Pintada to see what I could find out. A Civil Protection guard told me the bad news. The parade was to turn right along Calle Cruz and bypassing La Piqueta.


Where are they going?

We made our way up to the junction of Pintada and Cruz. The crowd was beginning to build on the corner. But then confusion. The police riders that escorted the parade headed down Pintada, ordering all the shops to wind back their parasols. The parade was going to pass La Piqueta! We rushed back to see if we could regain our place. No chance, the place was packed! We ended up outside the hostel next door. Still, we had a great view of the parade as it passed by.


Still a good spot.

Day 4: Mon Tha Than Waterfall

With about two hour’s daylight left, we decided that there was still time to go and visit the waterfall, Mon Tha Than. When we arrived on the track to the waterfall we were confronted by the park ranger. The entrance fee to the park for two with moto came to 220 Baht. If we had more time we would have left the bike at the gate!

The moto managed to make it along the rough track. Just! At the end of the track was a recreation area. The first waterfall lay just beyond. A sign pointed out a trail that winds up the hill to several viewing points. It was a 2km track but probably ascended several hundred metres.


At the Waterfall.

We enjoyed the views of the waterfall whilst deciding what to do. We had about an hour and a half of light left. I didn’t fancy riding through Chiang Mai in the dark. We decided to see how far we could get along the trail. We managed to make it to the third level. It was a steep climb up to that point and I don’t think we made it to the half way point.


Climbing up the path.

The ride back to Chiang Mai proved to be a challenge. We hit the rush hour traffic just outside the city limits. The traffic must have been tailing back at least half a mile to the lights at the moat. We followed a local who expertly weaved her way through the traffic to the front of the queue. By the time the lights changed to green there must have been at least 20 motos all jockeying for position. Setting off was scary as hell.

Monica was calmness personified riding pillion. She later said that she was so relaxed because I seemed to be too. If she could only see the fear on my face. We ended up going down a street on the wrong side. I thought it was a one way street. My policy of following the locals had me tearing down a pavement going over a bridge. Still, we managed to get the moto back in one piece. Within 2 minutes of throwing the keys back at the rental place we were sat hign up in “John’s Place”. A cold beer in hand whilst we watched the traffic chaos going around the moat.


A well-earned beer after all the moto stress.

Day 4: Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep

Wat Phrathat is further down the mountain than the Royal Palace. Just as well, the bike stubbornly refused to start. 6-7 attempts later and it spluttered to life. We coasted down Doi Suthep, rejoining the throngs of tourists outside the temple entrance.

You climb up a flight of steep steps to a number of souvenir stalls. That is when you see the really steep steps up the hill to the temple. The balustrades are decorative dragons that flank the 309 steps up to the temple. If you don’t fancy the climb there is a cable car that goes up to the top for 50 Baht. We opted for the more energetic route.


Only 309 steps in the blazing heat Dino!

The temple was built in the late 14th century. The origins of the temple come from the White Elephant legend. Apparently, King Nu Naone placed a fragment of the Buddha’s shoulder bone on top of a white elephant and set it free into the jungle. The elephant climbed the mountain, trumpeted three times at the summit and then died. The king thought that this was a sign and promptly ordered the construction of the temple.

The centre piece is a large golden chedi and is a sacred site for the Thai people. Sadly, this was undergoing maintenance with bamboo scaffolding surrounding the chedi. The place was busy and a number of offerings were being made. Guides were taking visitors to give offerings to the monks. The monk would tie a piece of white cotton around the man’s wrist. Lady visitors had to tie their own as the monk would not have any contact with women. Then the monk would begin chanting whilst flicking water over the kneeling visitors. No idea what it was all about and we couldn’t find anyone that spoke English to explain.

Monica was undeterred and wanted to get in on the action. An old lady was selling flowers and incense near the entrance to the Chedi. We bought them but still didn’t have a clue what we should do. A kind Japanese tourist explained the ritual. Apparently, you hold the flower and incense in the palms of your hands, that are held pointing upwards like you are praying. Then you walk clockwise around the Chedi three times.


WTF? Monica has no idea what she is doing.

Once the circuits are complete you light the incense sticks, kneel before a Buddha image and make an offering of the flower. You then plant the incense sticks in a pot nearby. We dutifully followed the ritual. Afterwards we were still none the wiser as to why we had done it or what it signified.


Getting all spiritual.

With the temple being situated on top of Doi Suthep, you have wonderful views over the city of Chiang Mai. The early mist had cleared a little so we could see better. You can see how close the airport is to the city. Monica said that we should walk it next time. Anything to save a few quid on the budget. You can also make out the moat that surrounds the old part of the city. The defensive wall is still intact at a few places along the moat. What a sight it must have been in the old days.


Chiang Mai.

A series of bells line the outer edge of the temple. Monica said that it would bring luck if you rang them. I tentatively gave it a go. Monica was less reserved and the peal of bells must have been clearly heard back in Chiang Mai. A round the corner was a solitary large bell. Monica’s eyes lit up. I covered my ears.


One for luck.

A small problem presented itself to Monica when she wanted to visit the bathroom. There were three signs. “Men”, “Women” and “Ladies”. Monica wasn’t sure if she was a woman or a lady. She chose the “Women” toilet thinking that “Ladies” may be for the third gender of Thailand, the Katoey!

Day 4: The Gardens at Bhubing Palace

The plan was to by-pass the temple and head further up the mountain to the Royal Palace. The Bhubing Palace is a favourite holiday retreat for the royals and is famous for its gardens. However, we almost didn’t make it. The moto was coughing and spluttering. It had guzzled half a tank of petrol already and was struggling with the ascent. At times we were going at walking pace but we eventually got there.

You need to observe a strict dress code to visit the palace gardens. Monica had brought a shawl to cover her shoulders but the guards were having none of it. She was forced to hire a pair of pants to cover her legs and a shirt to cover her shoulders. A combination that I don’t think will be seen on the catwalks of Milan any time soon.


Guapa!

It was possible to hire a guide to show you around the grounds, complete with golf buggy. Monica decided she had spent quite enough money on admission fees and wardrobe hire to splash out more on such luxuries. Besides, we could do with the walk after the ride up the mountain.

Signs at the gate apologised for the poor state of the gardens as work was under way to get the place ready for the Kings visit in the New Year. It must normally be in pristine condition as I didn’t think the place looked too shabby at all. Beautiful orchids all over the place. A rainbow of colours from the large variety of plants and flowers. The palace is famed for its rose garden. This was undergoing maintenance and was probably the reason for the sign at the entrance.


Giant Bamboo Tree.

A large number of uniformed guards were stationed near to the Palace. The place is a strict no-go zone. One of the few downsides to the visit. We soon moved away from the Palace and climbed some steps that led towards a series of display cases where once various species of spiders, frogs and other exotic creatures were displayed. The cases were labelled with details on the intended incumbent but no creatures were to be seen.

Further up another long flight of steps is the impressive water feature dedicated to the queen. A number of water fountains are set within a large pool area. Piped music plays whilst the fountains dance their routines. Exquisite chalets sit on the high ground that surrounds the pool, commanding spectacular views down the mountain. An idyllic setting fitting for a queen.


The Queen's lake.

After a brief coffee stop we walked around the estate. Workers were painstakingly sweeping the access roads to remove the fallen leaves. A thankless task as no sooner had they finished a section more leaves had fallen behind them. Picturesque luxury villas lined the estate amongst the giant bamboo trees. It was difficult to choose which one would be our ideal holiday home. With the tranquillity of the place, such dreams were easy.


One of the many beautiful Villas in the Gardens.

New Roundabout Design

If such a creature exists, then a “Roundabout Spotter” would be in heaven in Nerja. Not only by the sheer amount of roundabouts, but the design, the creativity of the centre piece. Whether it is a sculpture or a nice manicured garden, the centre of Nerja’s roundabouts are works of art. However, I feel that the latest design is taking things a bit too far.



Back to the drawing board me thinks!

Anti-Capitalist’s in Nerja?

Walking down the street where Monica works and I was intrigued with the latest spate of graffiti. Two words spayed on to the wall in red paint. “Los Bancos”. Is it the work of a new Anti-capitalised band that is hell bent on bringing Nerja down to its knees? What earth shattering statement would be revealed?


First wave of the attack.

The next day and the work was complete. “Los Bancos nos roban”. I must admit to being a bit disappointed with it. Firstly, it has to score a measly 0 out of 10 for artistic merit. It’s not the busiest place in the world in broad daylight so surely the artist had more time on his hands in the cover of darkness to do a better job. Maybe a bit of forward planning and our vandal may have realised that he needed a bigger canvas for his work.


The banks rob us!

As a protest, the Guardia Civil will lose no sleep over the possibility of an anti-capitalist band causing chaos and destruction throughout town. The placement is a bit poor. I mean, nobody is going to be crying about the damage caused to a pile of temporary bricks. Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to place the slogan on a symbol of capitalism that has so irked our artist? You know, like the bank that is right next door?

Back in Nerja

After a trip of a lifetime around South East Asia, a New Year’s break in Venice and then surviving the worst winter in living memory back in the UK, It’s time to go home to Nerja. What has changed in the last three months?

The new “Services” off the E15 at Nerja are now open. Does this spark the eagerly anticipated price war in Nerja? Hardly! They have managed to undercut the competition by a whole tenth of a cent. The most impressive thing about the new station is the cafeteria, or I should say the great looking terrace at the back. Spectacular views of the coast and mountains. Not a bad place to stop if you were on the road for a couple of hours.


New Services at Nerja.

The builders down the road haven’t mucked about. Nerja now has a Lidl store. Just in time as Monica has ordered drastic cuts to our expenses. Still there are plenty of positives to be taken. Cheap German Lager, the best pasta available in Spain and parking spaces that don’t require a tin opener to get out of.


Lidl at Nerja.

It looks like the Nerja Ayuntamiento has taken a crash course in “Gordonomics”. In the midst of the worst recession in decades and the threat of legal action over the disastrous Golf course development that could bankrupt the town hall, the solution appears to be “Spend, Spend, Spend”. The number of building works around town is phenomenal.

First it’s the new health centre situated by the side of Rio Chillar. The ground is all prepared for the building work to proceed. The obligatory roundabout has already been completed, making it the towns one hundredth since the new millennium.

The Balcon de Europe has had a facelift. The walled section that separated the road from the plaza has been demolished. The cafe bar owners would be rubbing their hands with glee if they weren’t busying themselves putting out more tables and chairs. Further works are being undertaken in Plaza Cantarero, Plaza Cavana and Calle Carabeo, where the long term sewer replacement project has reached its final stage.


Plaza at Balcon de Europa.

The Burriana area has seen a few changes too. The rio that runs beside the road has been cleared, allowing rain water to reach the sea easier. Seems to be preparation for a new apartment block. People who witnessed the great storms of 2007 won’t be rushing to buy a place there. I wonder if new buyers receive a free life boat.

The large “locale” next to “All that Jazz” finally seems to have been taken on. Signs are up advertising the opening of “Jax”, an American restaurant. Other changes see the “Sabor de Amor” move further up the paseo. They are taking over the space that was the “Oriental”. Sadly, the old “Copacabana” is still empty.


Burriana to get another new restaurant.

The other big change is our address. No longer are we part of the Greater Republic of Guiris in Burriana. We have moved to the west end of town. Does that mean swapping Burriana beach for Playazo? Ayo’s for El Breine? Vamos a ver!