A straight-forward enough drive. Come out of the airport and keep in the left lane. Go straight across the roundabout and stay in the left lane. This takes you over the flyover and joins the N340, keep in the right lane. Watch out for the "A7/E15 Motril" blue motorway sign. Be careful as the first sign is at the "Poligono" exit. Go under the flyover, past the bus stop and watch for traffic trying to join from the right. This is the entry lane for the motorway, expect standing traffic and be careful of traffic cutting you up from the left. Follow the motorway all the way to Nerja.
Easy enough directions. Just two turns. Where can you go wrong? Well, on your first visit you may miss the "A7/E15 Motril" turning and head over the bridge into Málaga. That’s why I had a bit more detail about the turning. Surely, you can’t miss it a second time? A third time, Never. Unless you are my Uncle Martin.
The "Hangers on" picked up their hire car from Málaga airport armed with a copy of the "Directions to Nerja for Dummies". Excuse Number 1: they had been shook up for half an hour on the landing from hell in the tormenta. Apparently the plane was filled with screams of panic from the nervous flyers, coupled with cheers from the drunken stag do parties, arms aloft in rollercoaster-style. Safely on the ground the pilot announced calmly "You may have noticed that the weather is not that great here. Luckily, we managed to land in between two storms".
Excuse number 2: Basically summed up as "It’s a foreign country, in a strange car with a stranger navigator!". Off they went from the Airport. Luckily, Uncle Martin knew how to operate the windscreen wipers. The first turning was OK. It all went wrong at the infamous motorway junction. Added to the above directions, I had told them to look out for the "Toys R Us" and "Makro" warehouses on the left. No problem. Then over a bridge crossing the dry river. Maybe this was the first part of the confusion as it may have been running for the first time in 40 years. Whatever the reason, they went sailing past the junction, exactly like they did the year before.
"We’re a bit lost" came the call. "We are at the post office in Málaga. Where do we go next?" asked Navigator Martin (Not Uncle Martin but the other Martin, now to be named Meredith to avoid confusion). I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I have been driving in Málaga centre. Always with the help (sometimes hindrance) of "Tom Tom". I sure as hell don’t know where the post office is. "Follow the signs for the port" I offered hopefully, "Then keep the sea to your right!". It seemed to help as they eventually managed to find the motorway.
Excuse number 3: "You never told me that they had finished the motorway". The new section of the motorway from Nerja to La Heradura has been complete for at least 6 months now. It is not unreasonable, in my opinion, to expect the driver (with navigator may I add) to take notice of the motorway signs. Specifically the two possible exits you can take, both clearly marked "NERJA". No, Uncle Martin’s plan was to drive until the end of the motorway. Thank god its not finished or they would have ended up in Barcelona.
So, what about the third time? Well they all had a day trip to Furengirola. I gave them "Tom Tom" for the journey. Unfortunately, not one of them had the savvy to be able to program the thing to come home. So, the plan was to follow the coast road. This takes them past the Airport. Surely they can’t miss the turning again. Of course they would, but for the intervention of papa.
When I picked Mama & Papa up from the airport, I made a point of showing them the junction. "This is where we went wrong last year" Papa said, "I’ll know in future". A reversal of roles saw Meredith in the drivers seat, Uncle Martin as navigator. Sure enough, they were heading for disaster, "It’s this junction" shouted Papa. "No it isn’t carry on" Martin shouted from the back. "I’m telling you, it’s this junction. This is where you ALWAYS go wrong!". At the last possible second, Meredith swings the bus to the right and makes the turn. "This is wrong" continues Martin. No it isn’t Tío. Maybe you will get it right next time.
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