Having survived the gales on our return to the UK, we were invited to Dinner at my Sister's house. I accepted as I found out it was going to be a chinese takeaway rather than Lisa's usual burnt offerings. Surely even Lisa can't cock up a takeaway...
Well this is Lisa. After an hour of messing about with the menu she finally managed to phone the order through. Or should I say, she ordered Mark to do it on her behalf. Like everything else in the house. Dad ensured the usual arguments over the paying of the bill. Short changing us, insisting on not paying a tip, ensuring he paid the driver so he could pocket the change.
All Lisa had to do was prepare the table. Even this simple task was beyond her. Mum to the rescue again! Waynetta slouchs back in her seat and did what she does best. Bugger all.
Soups were served in the original containers. Mum seemed surprised that they came in individual cartons. How else do they deliver soup? Suitably confused over this she puts the main courses in the oven to keep warm along with the salad. Nice one mum.
Soups were served in the original containers. Mum seemed surprised that they came in individual cartons. How else do they deliver soup? Suitably confused over this she puts the main courses in the oven to keep warm along with the salad. Nice one mum.
The main course was put on hold by the TV. A major news flash? No more important than that. Jade's getting booted out of big brother. Dad attempted to get the meal back on track by pulling the plug.
The post meal entertainment was provided by a nice friendly game. Trivial pursuits has long been banned due to various accusations of cheating leading to drunken arguments and occasional bouts of violence. Lisa produced her new board game bought as a christmas present. "Deal or no deal", or "Alla tu" to Monica. Excellent. How can you fall out over a came of chance? Just add Wayne and Waynetta. A couple of gallons of Stella. Mix with a dad and stand well back.
"You’ve taken our turn!" screech’s Mark. "It doesn’t matter". "I would have chosen box 7!". Who cares! Its not a game of skill. Dummies spat out by team Norman and Mark. Accusations of cheating. Threats of violence. Past battles fought on foreign soil dragged back up and re-inacted. A perfect opportunity for me to wade in with my lost inheritance after Lisa’s and robbed me blind with the "purchase" of our house.
"You’ve taken our turn!" screech’s Mark. "It doesn’t matter". "I would have chosen box 7!". Who cares! Its not a game of skill. Dummies spat out by team Norman and Mark. Accusations of cheating. Threats of violence. Past battles fought on foreign soil dragged back up and re-inacted. A perfect opportunity for me to wade in with my lost inheritance after Lisa’s and robbed me blind with the "purchase" of our house.
When the dust had settled, the blood mopped up and the game won (easily by team Monica & Dean!) there was still time to learn something new. To stop hiccups, drink water upside down. Amazing and true!
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